I've been thinking about writing this for days, but I don't know where to start or what to say. I know that Mark and Sherry would say "we want to hear anything and everything about Tyler; we don't expect eloquence, we just want your memories." It's hard to decide which are closest to me, Tyler. I don't know how to put a decade and a half into words, or how to explain the feeling of knowing that's all we'll have. I do know that it's been made easier with friends. Ben Banasiewicz and I have talked about you; how it is to be living our lives knowing you should be doing the same. I remember stealing that picture of you in kindergarten, with a mullet and wearing a turtleneck-I never in a million years could have imagined that it would be one of the few things I would have left of you. I remember dressing up for Q & U to get married, our date to Hardees, your poems in my yearbook, eating airheads at your house, getting Chick-Fil-A with the Mills twins, and a million other seemingly mundane memories that are absolutely priceless to me. I also remember you telling me you’d bought a motorcycle. My first response was as it usually was: “what did Sherry say?” You had said she wasn’t happy, but boys will be boys. Things as tragic as this shouldn’t happen so close to home; I think everyone truly believed it couldn’t. When I found out what had happened, I couldn’t put the idea together in my head. I could vividly picture your house-but not without you inside it, the life of the party you were throwing. I could picture your mom on the front porch each Halloween passing out candy-but not without asking her what you were dressed up as. I could picture your backyard-but not without you in it, on your hands and knees with me, spelling out “WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?” in Christmas lights the night you and Astin began dating. I have a thousand memories of you, Tyler, from before kindergarten to after graduation; I couldn’t picture not making any more with you. After your death, I am so much closer to your family. I have made new memories with them after you passed away. I have cried with them countless times, from the memorial of your death when your parents told me “he loved you”, up until right before I left for school this semester when they told me “we love you”. It’s impossible for me to understand their love for you, but I feel so much love in your house every time I visit. I feel like family, whether I’m just around the corner at your house, or at Caitlin’s apartment. Your parents raised 2 truly loving children and I know that speaks volumes for how much they loved you and Caitlin. Tyler, I have always felt welcome around you and you are the most genuine person I know. I can still hear your laugh, the one that instantly made someone feel like they knew you, and each time I see your dad laugh I only see your smile, and the way your eyes crinkled up with a genuine laugh. When I looked at you, I saw Mark; now I find glimpses of you in his face and mannerisms. Tyler, even though I know you’re gone, you’re still in so many things in my life. I think of you each time I leave the neighborhood, each time I pass East Coast Wings or Juice Shop, each time I pass a black Honda. There aren’t many places I can go in Winston without being reminded of you and I love that. The first 18 years of my life were spent with you and I couldn’t be happier about that. My life was made better by having you in it, and it continues to be blessed by having the love of your Mark, Sherry and Caitlin. -Holly Fisher